For Apple Fans: The Simplified Anti-Apple Response Sheet v0.1

After reading enough forum posts where someone challenges Apple's products, I've come up with a brief checklist (in the spirit of the famous spam solution checklist) that Apple fans can use to quickly and finally answer unenlightened challenges to Apple's products. Feel free to use this whenever you need it:

Simplified Anti-Apple Response Sheet v.01

You have posted a comment on an Internet forum, newsgroup or blog that in some
way has besmirched the reputation of Apple, it's products, users, fans or
employees by (check all that apply):

[ ] Questioning Apples Intentions
[ ] Comparing contrasting Apple hardware to a competitor
[ ] Challenging Cupertino's judgment
[ ] Misinterpreting consumer wants and needs
[ ] Claiming Apple policies are harming someone
[ ] Accusing Apple's design ethic of being inferior
[ ] Assessing responsibility for a design flaw to Apple

In addition your post exhibits a [ ]mild [ ] severe [ ] complete:
[ ] Lack of knowledge
[ ] Hatred
[ ] Poor eye for good design
[ ] Geekiness
[ ] Lack of design knowledge

The position you have taken or assertion you have made is dead wrong because:

[ ] You are not in the target market for Apple products
[ ] Apple doesn't care about you
[ ] You obviously have never used a Mac
[ ] Apple has customer best interests in mind
[ ] That would violate User Interface Guidelines
[ ] Apple is better than Microsoft
[ ] Your idea would ruin the user experience
[ ] Apple only produces products of superior design

In addition, because you made said post, I hope you:

[ ] Have a nice day
[ ] Are hugged by a roving pack of cute koala bears
[ ] Are struck by a car at lunch
[ ] Catch a stomach virus
[ ] Are diagnosed with leprosy, cancer or other terminal illness
[ ] DIAF
[ ] Are raped by a roving pack of cute koala bears

This form provided for your convenience by http://garagesaletech.blogspot.com

Suggestions for improvements are welcome.